When I was younger I had a few male co-workers that were friends, and we went out to lunch a few times. Mind you I never thought anything more of it that we were just friends, but a couple of them made a big ta do about how they did not want people to think we were dating. Apparently one co-worker teased my friend co-worker and said I was his girlfriend, and he made a point to tell that guy it was not the case. After that he made another point about not wanting to be seen together, even though we were just having lunch.
Gee, these men's egos were definitely on hyper drive because I did not want to date any of them, especially since they were married. Only if they had known, but at the time I was very much attracted to a man I was having a long distance relationship with. No one else existed to me in the world at that time, and it is sad to think how I gave that person so much attention. That is another story, but my point is I could have cared less about any man besides my long distance friend. I definitely wanted to be friends with people, but I did not want to be with anyone, but that man I had cared about.
Even though I had just been friends with those guys, and they acted like our going to lunch might mean something else to other people. The one co-worker who had mentioned that wondered why I became so distant after that, and I think he may have figured out he really offended me. Some women can hang out with men and be their friends, but it has truly been years since I felt comfortable doing that. I have just become more introverted over the years I suppose, so I do not do a large amount of hanging out.
Another situation that is also amusing is when you are just meeting men in social situations, and as a nice gesture you chat with them. Being an introvert this often hard to do because whereas I do know I have many valuable things to share, I have been put off over the years by people who snickered or laughed at my comments. I know I am an intelligent woman, but I hate situations where people treat me as if I am insignificant. Often I am not one of those people others are just itching to draw into long conversations and strike up friendships with, so when I make the effort to just have small talk with someone it really offensive when some married men act like you are out to pick them up.
One of the first words out of several married men's mouth are "I am married," and they often bring it up in the weirdest context. Once we were talking about the national budget, and some guy brought this up! Being the introvert that I am I immediately withdrew and just said "That is nice," and walked away.
Married men who actually think single women are trying to pick them up just because we attempt be cordial, please get over yourselves! My other theory is some men may throw out there that they are married because they are desperately hoping some single woman will want to have an affair with them, so they just want to throw this information out there. Really I do not know, but if you are a married guy do not assume all single women are enticed by you. You have a wife and kids, and most of us single women do not find that appealing. You might be surprised to learn we meet men who are single and available, and your propensity toward cheating is not all that attractive.
If you are a married man do not throw out there that you are married at the weirdest times in conversations because guess what?! Most women can figure this out by seeing if you are wearing a wedding band or not. Just wanted to let all the married men out there who make single women feel awkward to be more sensitive. Single women are precious commodities that do not deserve to have married men imply that they are out for them. Actually, I do truly believe the only men who throw that out there at the weirdest times are looking for opportunities to cheat, and that is what I am going to think the next time a man does that. Thankfully this has not happened for years.
